Path Diverted

So nothing is going as I'd hoped, and written about in the last post. And it's actually all because of me.
The bible study is good on the fellowship part. One of our members made a dance team, which is awesome, but now she has practice Monday nights, so we are down a member, and our group was already pretty small. Our dinners are wonderful, I have to say. Hopefully, next time around we can get some more people.
I went to a new church this morning and really enjoyed it, so I am hopeful about that. I am going to check out their Sunday school class for my age group. I also have a friend that already goes there, so I know someone!! I really wish he could come with me, but I know he wouldn't feel comfortable there, and isn't interested in a new church anyway.
I feel like I got nothing done on my apartment this weekend. I thought I would because I didn't have any other plans. But when it came down to it, even being busy with chores and such wasn't enough to keep my mind occupied, so I had to get out.
I've stayed busy, trying to stay out of my apartment, because once I'm here all I want to do is sleep. I spent all day cooking. All things I was planning on cooking for him, but....oh, well.
Another good thing is that I love my new haircut!! I feel like I finally have the haircut I've been wanting for like 5 years!!!! Thanks Kayla! I also got my car washed and she is so pretty!!! I made a flair on facebook just for her. :)
I really feel fine when I'm with other people but the second I'm alone, it's like it hits me like this big gushing wave, and I'm just so.....sad. Then angry, then sad again. Then upset, then mad, then sad again. It's so confusing. I know I should cherish this time, or some crap like that people keep telling me, but I just want it to be over. Trying really really hard to remain positive, and just think things through on a very rational reasonable level, but it feels as though it's going to get a lot harder before it gets easier.